The Mimic Octomonster is old news, I know. But my whole comic/life is running late.

PACKING

Packing to move in half a month. Where will I dump all my stuff? OH GOD

I keep dreaming about traveling, last one was on a train that kept running into other trains. The inside looked like the school bus from middleschool, and all the stewardesses were women comedians from SNL.  My traveling companion was my last Boss, because apparently she’s my Spirit Guide. STRESS

SO the Mimic Octopus is pretty rad. It can also simulate a bad-tasting flounder. So there’s that. Good for him.

While it isn’t miming toxic and dangerous seacreatures, M.O. keeps himself entertained by being FUCKING SCARY LOOKING

And fucking.

I think the line from the first panel, ‘roll up your windows kids’  is from a National Lampoon’s Vacation flic.

OTHER STUFF I’M DOING:

My friend Mel and I have been working feverishly on a comic we’re calling ‘Weird Beat‘. It’s about two sassy women who solve supernatural (and natural) mysteries while looking FABULOUS.

And this is how I reveal my new hairdid.

I have wanted a mohawk for about a year- I’ve held off because of moneys. Or lack thereof.

My comic hasn’t updated in a very timely manner because I’m now working seven days a week.

UGH

I hate it.

So Kadin and I are taking a vacation from our relations here in a few months.

I’ll be spending a couple weeks in Colorado with a friend.

Amanda (friend and fellow Lady) has already cleared out and painted a room in her house for me to hole up in like a nocturnal rat-critter. I don’t know what fun things there are to do in Colorado, but I know what I’ll be doing.

COMICS

All of the comics.

I assume there’ll be more time to sit on my ass and draw.

This comic is both a ‘thank you’ to Amanda (one of the best people I’ve ever met) and a dire warning to Colorado.

I’m coming.

I fell a lot in love with People of Walmart. I swear, I don’t care how uncouth it is- if I see a 300 lb Irish woman in a moomoo I’ll be getting my stirrups out.

FUCK THE POLICE

And really, aren’t wine-tastings just a great excuse to wear a tube-top?

ALSO:

I’m selling these guys in my Etsy shop.

They are Forget Me Not flowers that I drew in Manga Studio, then printed on water-slide decal film and applied to shell dangles.

TAKE BACK PRODUCTION!

Geeze, I’m yelling a lot today…

I substitute words for other words.

Like I might ask you to hand me the ocelot, instead of the coffee-pot.

I think this has more to do with my head being in the clouds than an actual problem.

I cringe at the thought I’ll start writing what I’m really thinking while filling out my taxes. How many dependents this year?

Penis.

And I’m not sure if that’s an old man or an old woman, but that is definitely not a hair-piece.

That’s totally what she was insinuating.

This raises several questions:

*Why does my mother appear as a spectral entity if she’s alive and well in Eugene?

*What use does a ghost have with coffee (we’re assuming that’s what’s in the mug) and real cigarettes?

*Did anyone else think of Wolverine when reading the sound effect for her lighter?

To make a long story short, my New Year’s resolution is to not attempt contact with anyone. Ever. It’s just a bad idea. Don’t shop for food when you’re hungry, either.

This was a real thing my Mom said to me when I was in Highschool, and I found it uncomfortable to hear. She had all sorts of advice I didn’t understand until years later. Does anyone else find themselves remembering what Mom said as if she was there in the room explaining why you’re fucking up?

This was really just an exercise in poking fun at myself.

OH HEY

I made a hat. No really. Go check it out on my embarrassingly underutilized Tumblr.

Howdy again everybody!

My site is back. Effffffffffffyeaaaaaahhhh!

Ef, of course, stands for ‘fantastic’.

I’m so happy to have my site back. It’s been like a missing puzzle piece to my life. Hopefully I’ll be able to fix the little things like the background and links in short time.

ABOUT THE COMIC: This is basically how it was. I was so /high/, all day e’ry day. It was wonderful. Who can I pay to break both my legs so I can get some more Codine? No, no. That’s silly, forget that. One leg. That way I’ll have an extra one to break later.

It’s settled then.

YES IT IS

If you were a fan of my site before the private apocalypse that laid siege to my earthly works, you might notice now that I’ve added in a bunch of my oldest comic strips and pages. They’re hokey, poorly drawn and in many cases not funny. But I like them. They give a fuzzy warm feeling to my tummy when I click the ‘first’ and ‘last’ buttons, because it’s neat to see how far my art style has progressed. GOOD LORD DID I DRAW HANDS LIKE THAT BACK IN THE DAY

A parody of Tangled, I guess?

It was a cute movie. She has all the artistic will that I possess, but way too much energy. I don’t achieve jack shit before noon. Cleaning? Pphht.